Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Just a Drop...
So... Here's the deal. I was super stoked to be a part of the founding of Stand for the Silent. If anyone wants to know what that is, leave a comment with your email and I'd love to tell you more about this awesome organization. I digress. Anyway! SFTS took off at alarming speed and I still am a part of the organization like many people, but I feel like it is time to throw myself into something else. I recently became interested in this non-profit organization called Wishing Well. Let me ask you, How much do YOU know about the water crisis? wishforwater.com is a great website about this organization and it's partners where you can learn a lot more about this than I can tell you. I'm not about to tell you to take this jump with me, but I'm about to take a big leap here. I'm even considering changing my major to something that could help this organization more. Pray for me. Pray for this wonderful work that clearly has God's hand in it. Pray for the people in Africa that are dying from disease caused by unclean water. We CAN change this. Let's do it.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I AM NOW
So for the past few weeks, I've been praying that God would send someone in my life that could help me see how change genuinely works in people because I'm ready for something to change in my life.
I'm not sure how many of you know what the title of this post means, but think extended youth rally for college students and you've pretty much got the idea.
I didn't know what to expect when I arrived at the church early Friday morning, but I feel like keeping no expectations made the weekend more enjoyable. And how could I have had any expectations? I have never been to this particular function and I knew absolutely no one who was there.
We arrived in Tulsa around eleven and played with some kids in an apartment complex that might have been Section 8 Housing. We had a lot of fun, but we were exhausted by the time we got to the conference.
The Park Plaza CoC is incredible in size. I was a little overwhelmed, even attending Memorial the past few weeks. But it was a good time over all. As everyone started to arrive, a group of students from Austin walks through the door. We were all kind of mingling amongst our group and slowly branching into others, when this girl about my height and about half my size walks up to me and says, "Hi, my name is Vanessa!" She was very spunky. So I told her hello and that I was Amanda. "Oh my word! Every Amanda I know is super cool!" she said. We talked and laughed and she introduced me to another girl from Austin who's name is Erin. They were both very sweet girls. I had only known them less than ten minutes when Vanessa insisted I sit with them. But they're not just the normal people, they're front rowers. I didn't have a particular objection to this, in fact by the end of the conference I sort of grew to like it.
I can't say too much without feeling like I'm bragging, but I just have to say that the Lord has a funny way of sending exactly what you need exactly when you NEED it.
I hate to be "that person" but there are a few criticisms I have of the conference. For one thing, I do not believe that the use of instruments in worship is scriptural. I tried very hard to keep an open mind about what was going on this weekend, and I'm not saying that we just went crazy, but some boundaries were pushed if not crossed.
We had lots of prayer time this weekend, which is good, but I do not think that playing songs while asking someone to be alone with God in prayer is in any way helpful or scriptural. I am not saying I'm going to go walk into everyone's church and tell them exactly how to run things, but it was very distracting to me and I didn't actually get much praying done during that time. It was more distracting that there were people singing while we were supposed to be praying than the instruments that were playing in the recordings they were running. This was just the main instance that comes to mind because it was the biggest deal to me.
I feel like I have come to terms with a lot of issues in my faith that I have problems with. I am a firm believer in Ephesians 5:19. I still do not believe instruments are acceptable in worship, they're not biblical as far as I can tell and they're simply too distracting. I believe there are different types of worship and that no one should be made to feel like less of a person because their expression is different from your own. At the same time, I think it is disrespectful to the people around you to say, "Accept my habits because I'm not going to change them just because they're causing you distraction in your personal worship to the Lord our God." That, to me, is selfish and un-Christlike in nature. I am more a believer now of acceptance than I ever have been, and by acceptance, I mean the acceptance offered to us by Christ because Christ does not care WHY you come to him. However, at some point he does care why you stay. God can not make a MESSAGE without your MESS.
I'm not sure how many of you know what the title of this post means, but think extended youth rally for college students and you've pretty much got the idea.
I didn't know what to expect when I arrived at the church early Friday morning, but I feel like keeping no expectations made the weekend more enjoyable. And how could I have had any expectations? I have never been to this particular function and I knew absolutely no one who was there.
We arrived in Tulsa around eleven and played with some kids in an apartment complex that might have been Section 8 Housing. We had a lot of fun, but we were exhausted by the time we got to the conference.
The Park Plaza CoC is incredible in size. I was a little overwhelmed, even attending Memorial the past few weeks. But it was a good time over all. As everyone started to arrive, a group of students from Austin walks through the door. We were all kind of mingling amongst our group and slowly branching into others, when this girl about my height and about half my size walks up to me and says, "Hi, my name is Vanessa!" She was very spunky. So I told her hello and that I was Amanda. "Oh my word! Every Amanda I know is super cool!" she said. We talked and laughed and she introduced me to another girl from Austin who's name is Erin. They were both very sweet girls. I had only known them less than ten minutes when Vanessa insisted I sit with them. But they're not just the normal people, they're front rowers. I didn't have a particular objection to this, in fact by the end of the conference I sort of grew to like it.
I can't say too much without feeling like I'm bragging, but I just have to say that the Lord has a funny way of sending exactly what you need exactly when you NEED it.
I hate to be "that person" but there are a few criticisms I have of the conference. For one thing, I do not believe that the use of instruments in worship is scriptural. I tried very hard to keep an open mind about what was going on this weekend, and I'm not saying that we just went crazy, but some boundaries were pushed if not crossed.
We had lots of prayer time this weekend, which is good, but I do not think that playing songs while asking someone to be alone with God in prayer is in any way helpful or scriptural. I am not saying I'm going to go walk into everyone's church and tell them exactly how to run things, but it was very distracting to me and I didn't actually get much praying done during that time. It was more distracting that there were people singing while we were supposed to be praying than the instruments that were playing in the recordings they were running. This was just the main instance that comes to mind because it was the biggest deal to me.
I feel like I have come to terms with a lot of issues in my faith that I have problems with. I am a firm believer in Ephesians 5:19. I still do not believe instruments are acceptable in worship, they're not biblical as far as I can tell and they're simply too distracting. I believe there are different types of worship and that no one should be made to feel like less of a person because their expression is different from your own. At the same time, I think it is disrespectful to the people around you to say, "Accept my habits because I'm not going to change them just because they're causing you distraction in your personal worship to the Lord our God." That, to me, is selfish and un-Christlike in nature. I am more a believer now of acceptance than I ever have been, and by acceptance, I mean the acceptance offered to us by Christ because Christ does not care WHY you come to him. However, at some point he does care why you stay. God can not make a MESSAGE without your MESS.
Friday, October 7, 2011
The Obama Post
I'm sorry if it's politically incorrect to say this, but Obama may not have done much right, but he was right about the fact that it is time for a change. And I don't just mean the country. How long has it been since you took a chance? Or has the economy got everyone too scared to take chances? When was the last time you did something you LOVED to do instead of something you HAD to do? And why did we start settling less than happiness? I'm not so naive as to say that everyone is going to be happy 100% of the time. That's simply unrealistic. But when did we start forgetting to take in the simply pleasures in everything that when all added together made us happy? Why did we allow television to become our entertainment instead of letting our entertainment be going over to a friend's house and enjoying their company? Does anyone else miss the simplicity of life that we've seemed to have lost? All I see today is technological advancement. Men and women walking around with the newest iTech, if you will, or the newest Lambo, or BMW. I miss the simplicity. Even now, this seems entirely hypocritical seeing as I'm typing this on a laptop, in a Starbucks, listening to Acapella music on my iTouch 4thGen. Yes, I know. Stab the hypocrite, but hey. I'm also a broke college student who has come from humble beginnings and knows which side of the tracks she was raised on. God be with your thoughts today. I hope you look for Him in your everyday life like I try to do. Because those who seek, they do find. =] Go with God
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
God is good ALL the time!
And ALL THE TIME God is good! I have been changed. I have been changed by the love and grace of God and you know what? IT FEELS GREAT!! God is SO good! God's grace is SO big. There is NOTHING under Heaven or in Heaven that can separate me from the love of God.
For so long I've been listening to the voices around me tell me I'm not good enough. For so long I've played the victim. For so long I've listened and trusted every voice but God's.
When I get right down to it, it does not make sense that I continue in my old habits, my old life, my old sins. Sin has been living in me.
I AM GOD'S CHILD! HE LOVES ME AND THE POWERS OF DARKNESS WILL NEVER SEPARATE ME FROM THE GRACE OF GOD!!!
Today I saw what the joy of God is. It is His love, and it is His son. It is His grace. It is His power.
Some things only God has the power to change, and I'm here to tell you, once you let Him have that power over you, you will never feel so free again.
Tonight a brother told me to start loving myself. I've been thinking about that extensively. I am going to love myself. But it is because of God that I am able to do so. Without God's love, there is no cause or reason for love, because God IS love.
Tonight I have let down my barriers. I've come to terms with my sins. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've got a long way to go in my Christian journey. But you know what? Despite my sins, God still loves me. God's grace is SO good; He can love me. He does love me, when all of the voices told me I wasn't good enough. I didn't deserve it. I was unlovable. But God is for me. Who dares to stand against me? That is not arrogance. That is the confidence and the joy I've found in my Lord, my savior, my brother, and my friend. Jesus Christ. <3
For so long I've been listening to the voices around me tell me I'm not good enough. For so long I've played the victim. For so long I've listened and trusted every voice but God's.
When I get right down to it, it does not make sense that I continue in my old habits, my old life, my old sins. Sin has been living in me.
I AM GOD'S CHILD! HE LOVES ME AND THE POWERS OF DARKNESS WILL NEVER SEPARATE ME FROM THE GRACE OF GOD!!!
Today I saw what the joy of God is. It is His love, and it is His son. It is His grace. It is His power.
Some things only God has the power to change, and I'm here to tell you, once you let Him have that power over you, you will never feel so free again.
Tonight a brother told me to start loving myself. I've been thinking about that extensively. I am going to love myself. But it is because of God that I am able to do so. Without God's love, there is no cause or reason for love, because God IS love.
Tonight I have let down my barriers. I've come to terms with my sins. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've got a long way to go in my Christian journey. But you know what? Despite my sins, God still loves me. God's grace is SO good; He can love me. He does love me, when all of the voices told me I wasn't good enough. I didn't deserve it. I was unlovable. But God is for me. Who dares to stand against me? That is not arrogance. That is the confidence and the joy I've found in my Lord, my savior, my brother, and my friend. Jesus Christ. <3
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Weakness
I don't know how long its been since I've been able to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see someone I'm proud of. It seems like I fail every day. I don't even know how it started. Years of running and trying to break free of this plagued mind, and there is not an ounce of relief yet. I wish I knew how to stop. I wish I knew how to get loose from the vice grip this curse has on me. I pray for self-control, but I am just as weak now as ever. Is there anything more troublesome than your own lack of restraint when you know something is wrong? How do I make this stop?! God, I need help.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Oh I remember you!
So, as fate would have it, I haven't been on the internet in quite sometime. For future reference, all companies that provide an essential service are incredibly underhanded. That's all I have to say about that.
Well, Cherish and I got all moved in to our apartment. So far, things are going pretty well... On the surface at least. I'm not sure how Cherish is holding up. I'm finding apartment life difficult to adapt to. Probably because I've lived with my parents for the past twenty years. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm twenty now? Yep. Two whole decades. And not an ounce of wisdom to show for it.
I'm not going to lie. This whole moving out has proved the most stressful test of what little faith I had to begin with. I wish I could pour out my heart to this blog like so many people seem to be able to do, but I have no idea how to sift through my ideas so that I can make them unspecific and sharable. So here goes nothing...
I moved to this lovely apartment complex and for the first two weeks, life was just peachy.
Then things started to fall apart...
At work: Six people quit in the space of three weeks. This created chaos and mountains of stress for me.
At school: It's school. Nuff said. But its getting into the swing of the semester and the workload is piling up.
I have to be honest with you, I think I'm more alone than I've ever been in my life. I moved with expectations of plugging right into the community here, but I was NOT prepared for what would result. Not only did my friendships start to bend from the pressure of distance, they have all but disintegrated. As if this wasn't enough, I feel like God is trying to get me to completely restart my life. Why do I feel like this? I'm in a brand new environment, at a brand new school, and am now forced to make brand new friends because the ones I have/had are/were poisoning my, albeit weak, relationship with God. I feel like the path I'm on is broken with no direction. At times like this, I think about stories I've heard where people simply get by based on the promises of reward God has given us. Why can't I think of any though?
I feel myself withdrawing from the world. I'm not so sure this is a bad thing anymore. I used to be the most outgoing person you'd meet. Today I learned that the more you listen, the more you learn. And how true! Having a quiet soul gives you such a more complete perspective! My goal this week is to do twice as much listening as talking. I feel like God shows us a little bit of who He is when we watch each other interact with love.
I'm trying to stay hopeful. It's not easy. Every day seems to bring a new, freshly baked, batch of turmoil. I feel myself slipping.
Will someone catch me?
Well, Cherish and I got all moved in to our apartment. So far, things are going pretty well... On the surface at least. I'm not sure how Cherish is holding up. I'm finding apartment life difficult to adapt to. Probably because I've lived with my parents for the past twenty years. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm twenty now? Yep. Two whole decades. And not an ounce of wisdom to show for it.
I'm not going to lie. This whole moving out has proved the most stressful test of what little faith I had to begin with. I wish I could pour out my heart to this blog like so many people seem to be able to do, but I have no idea how to sift through my ideas so that I can make them unspecific and sharable. So here goes nothing...
I moved to this lovely apartment complex and for the first two weeks, life was just peachy.
Then things started to fall apart...
At work: Six people quit in the space of three weeks. This created chaos and mountains of stress for me.
At school: It's school. Nuff said. But its getting into the swing of the semester and the workload is piling up.
I have to be honest with you, I think I'm more alone than I've ever been in my life. I moved with expectations of plugging right into the community here, but I was NOT prepared for what would result. Not only did my friendships start to bend from the pressure of distance, they have all but disintegrated. As if this wasn't enough, I feel like God is trying to get me to completely restart my life. Why do I feel like this? I'm in a brand new environment, at a brand new school, and am now forced to make brand new friends because the ones I have/had are/were poisoning my, albeit weak, relationship with God. I feel like the path I'm on is broken with no direction. At times like this, I think about stories I've heard where people simply get by based on the promises of reward God has given us. Why can't I think of any though?
I feel myself withdrawing from the world. I'm not so sure this is a bad thing anymore. I used to be the most outgoing person you'd meet. Today I learned that the more you listen, the more you learn. And how true! Having a quiet soul gives you such a more complete perspective! My goal this week is to do twice as much listening as talking. I feel like God shows us a little bit of who He is when we watch each other interact with love.
I'm trying to stay hopeful. It's not easy. Every day seems to bring a new, freshly baked, batch of turmoil. I feel myself slipping.
Will someone catch me?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Journey of a Thousand Miles
Tomorrow is the big day! I move into my new apartment with Cherish tomorrow! I'm so excited. I can't wait to start a new adventure out on my own. This is going to be fun! And yes. To all of you who are wondering, all my sentences must end in an excaimation point!
I am a little sad about leaving my family, but I'm not too far from them so I can visit often. I am definitely ready to start to move on with certain aspects of my life. Things have been stressful lately, this whole moving out thing did not help on that front at all. However, I am hoping that certain things will close themselves with time and distance.
At times like these, I like to think about Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
It's hard to remain hesitant about anything when reminded of this verse. My mom always quotes Romans with "if God is for us, who can be against us." Thanks to my upbringing, I feel confident that this next year is going to be a very differnt experience.
I am a little sad about leaving my family, but I'm not too far from them so I can visit often. I am definitely ready to start to move on with certain aspects of my life. Things have been stressful lately, this whole moving out thing did not help on that front at all. However, I am hoping that certain things will close themselves with time and distance.
At times like these, I like to think about Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
It's hard to remain hesitant about anything when reminded of this verse. My mom always quotes Romans with "if God is for us, who can be against us." Thanks to my upbringing, I feel confident that this next year is going to be a very differnt experience.
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