Weakness

I don't know how long its been since I've been able to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and see someone I'm proud of. It seems like I fail every day. I don't even know how it started. Years of running and trying to break free of this plagued mind, and there is not an ounce of relief yet. I wish I knew how to stop. I wish I knew how to get loose from the vice grip this curse has on me. I pray for self-control, but I am just as weak now as ever. Is there anything more troublesome than your own lack of restraint when you know something is wrong? How do I make this stop?! God, I need help.